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Indexing tasks...Sophie's Adventure

Beginning
SOPHIE'S ADVENTURE

by

David Whyld


1)  Play the game

2)  Background

3)  How to play Sophie's Adventure

1
  
Sophie's Room
This is your room, a merry hodge-podge of bright colours and "enthusiastic" vibes. Yep, your mother decorated it for you and if there's one thing mothers don't know it's how to decorate their daughters' rooms. Squinting through all this uncontrolled "joy" and "happiness", you catch sight of your bed - complete with a wonderfully vivid quilt - your desk, a window which looks out over some not very interesting fields and an overflowing bin. There used to be a television in here somewhere but it seems to have been overwhelmed by the rest of your "happy" decorations.
   Exits lie: east (to the upstairs hallway).

x bed
It's hard to look at your bed with the colourful quilt lying across over it like that but you know there's nothing very interesting in it because you were lying there only a few minutes ago. You remember when you were a kid (well, a younger kid than you are now anyway) you used to worry that there was an evil gremlin that lived under the bed who would creep out after nightfall and eat you. But when you got a bit older you realised that no self-respecting gremlin would be seen anywhere near a bed with a quilt like that.

look under bed
You look under the bed, searching for the gremlin you were convinced as a child was under there.
   Nope, no sign of him.

x quilt
It's an eyesore if ever there was one and the sort of thing that should have been consigned to the scrapyard years ago. But Mother likes it and so it stays. At least until you find some way to "dispose" of it without her knowing.

get it
(the quilt)
It's bad enough you have to lie in bed with the thing, you're certainly not going to carry it around with you!

x desk
The desk is the one thing in your room you have managed to keep just about free of Mother's evil machinations. It's a nice dull colour and - even better from your point of view - in good need of painting. It's nice to have something that's all yours.

look in it
(your desk)
The desk is the one thing in your room you have managed to keep just about free of Mother's evil machinations. It's a nice dull colour and - even better from your point of view - in good need of painting. It's nice to have something that's all yours.

get it
(your desk)
It's too heavy to lift.

x window
The window hinges are painted shut, thus making the window impossible to open without a hammer. Apparently Mother thought this would be a good idea to keep her young daughter from falling out of it in the middle of the night. Maybe to her it was a good idea, but as you're the poor girl who has to spend her days in a room slightly warmer than the Sahara Desert on a really hot day, you just wish she'd settled for locking it instead.

look out window
You see nothing special about the window.

look through window
Storm clouds are gathering in the distance and looking surprisingly threatening. It looks like you're going to get rained on if you go to your friend's house later on.

[hmm]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

x clouds
They are gathering outside your house and cast a pall of darkness over the surrounding countryside. If you didn't know better you'd swear there was something evil about them.

x bin
There's so much paper in your bin - and on the floor around it - that you often suspect an entire rainforest has probably died to supply you with this gargantuan wad of paper. The reason the bin is so full is that, three years ago, Mother said it was your responsibilty to empty it. As such, it hasn't been emptied since. It's now just a simple case of who cracks first. You suspect it might well be her because already the sheer weight of overflowing paper has made a noticeable dent in the ceiling of the room below this one and it won't be much longer before paper starting trickling through. 

['papers start']
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

x papers
Sorting through some of the papers, you come across the hiding place of your dummy which - after a furtive glance around to ensure that no family members are lurking in the immediate vicinity - you slip into your pocket. It always pays to vary the hiding place of your dummy in case Mother decides on a spring cleaning session and inadvertently stumbles across it.

x dummy
This battered piece of pink plastic sure brings back memories. Many were the long days you used to lounge around the house with this in your mouth, or sit on the back garden watching the world go by. Mother would probably have an almighty fit if she knew you still had it, but you find it a little hard to get rid of.

get papers
No. You're not going to be the one who cracks first.

l
Sophie's Room
This is your room, a merry hodge-podge of bright colours and "enthusiastic" vibes. Yep, your mother decorated it for you and if there's one thing mothers don't know it's how to decorate their daughters' rooms. Squinting through all this uncontrolled "joy" and "happiness", you catch sight of your bed - complete with a wonderfully vivid quilt - your desk, a window which looks out over some not very interesting fields and an overflowing bin. There used to be a television in here somewhere but it seems to have been overwhelmed by the rest of your "happy" decorations.
   Exits lie: east (to the upstairs hallway).

x fields
The fields through your bedroom window are every bit as boring as usual. You once wrote a letter to your MP about the possibility of rotating the scenery in your home town every week or so to give you something different to look at but so far he hasn't responded. Maybe the letter got lost in the post.

x television
It's not to be seen, alas. You're sure it was here last year but where it is now is quite a mystery.

x tv
Try as you might you don't see anything very interesting.

[add that]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

e
You move east.


Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).  

The bathroom door comes flying open and out storms your sister, Carla, looking less than pleased.
   "Outta the way, brat!" she snaps. "I haven't got time for you now."
   "It's my birthday," you say.
   To which Carla's reply is, "I didn't give a damn last year and I sure don't this year" before she heads into her room and slams the door shut.
   Typical Carla really.

n
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, northwest, west, southwest and down.

[er?]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

n
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, northwest, west, southwest and down.

north
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, northwest, west, southwest and down.

open door
You haven't got any keys with you right now so you aren't going to be opening many locked doors.

l
Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).

x wallpaper
You don't like looking at the wallpaper. The way it curves away at strange angles makes you think that whoever put it in place was either drunk or mad. Considering it was your father, maybe it was both.

x carpet
You think the carpet was one of your Father's cost-saving schemes. Instead of buying enough carpet to adequately cover the floor, he decided to buy it so it was several inches short on either side (figuring it would be cheaper that way and it wasn't needed right at the edge as who walks that close to the wall anyway?) As such, you now have an upstairs hallway that looks somewhat similar to a bomb site and walking along here too fast is liable to cause a serious accident.

x light fitting
You're not quite sure why it swings eerily from side to side like that because there's no breeze and no reason why it should. Maybe your house is haunted.

haunt house
I don't understand what you want me to do with the house.

l
Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).

listen
You hear nothing out of the ordinary.

x tv
You can't see the tv from here but it's a constant background noise in this house whenever your father's home. It's one of the sounds you've grown up listening to and you're not sure what you'd do if you woke up one day and it wasn't there.

nw
"Go away!" yells Carla from her room. "Go away right now or so help me God I'll kill you!"
   Sounds like Carla is in one of her moods. Best if you leave her be when she's like this because while she hasn't killed you yet (at least, not that you remember), she's more than capable of giving your ponytails a serious tugging when she's annoyed.

sw
The door to your parents' room seems to be locked. Maybe they don't trust you or something.

d
You move down.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

x mirror
With a pattern of wilting roses encircling the glass, this mirror is one of your mother's truly hideous possessions. You're never quite sure why she seems to have this fancy for decorating the house with eyesores and you're just hoping it isn't something that passes from mother to daughter.

look in it
(the gaudy mirror)
With a pattern of wilting roses encircling the glass, this mirror is one of your mother's truly hideous possessions. You're never quite sure why she seems to have this fancy for decorating the house with eyesores and you're just hoping it isn't something that passes from mother to daughter.

look at me in mirror
With a pattern of wilting roses encircling the glass, this mirror is one of your mother's truly hideous possessions. You're never quite sure why she seems to have this fancy for decorating the house with eyesores and you're just hoping it isn't something that passes from mother to daughter.

[hmm.]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

l
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

x drawers
You're not quite sure why there's a chest of drawers in the hallway but put it down to one of Mother's strange ideas. Generally, whenever anything strange happens you put it down to Mother.
   The chest of drawers is pretty much empty of description and aside from a couple of drawers - marked upper and lower to avoid confusion - it's unremarkable in the extreme.

open upper
You pull it open and find inside nothing more remarkable than a single playing card. Picking it up, you see it is the jack of diamonds although not the one you normally tend to see in packs of cards.

x jack
You're sure the jack of diamonds in a proper deck of cards doesn't have a parrot on one shoulder though you have to admit the look is rather fetching. The card feels quite new although you can't remember the last time either of your parents bought a new pack.

open lower
The lower drawer seems to be stuck and no matter of struggling with it seems to help.

close upper
You close it.

open lower
The lower drawer seems to be stuck and no matter of struggling with it seems to help.

kick lower
You kick, but nothing happens.

x chest
You're not quite sure why there's a chest of drawers in the hallway but put it down to one of Mother's strange ideas. Generally, whenever anything strange happens you put it down to Mother.
   The chest of drawers is pretty much empty of description and aside from a couple of drawers - marked upper and lower to avoid confusion - it's unremarkable in the extreme.

[I'm sure it's the *game* that's marking the drawers, but it sounds like your mother marked them 'upper' and 'lower' as written.]
I don't understand what you want me to do with the chest of drawers.
(the chest of drawers)
(the chest of drawers)
I don't understand what you want me to do with the chest of drawers.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

l
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

u
You move up.


Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).  

Blast and bother! You've dropped the Jack of Diamonds! It must have fell out of your hand while you were climbing the stairs!

d
You move down.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here are the jack of diamonds.

get jack
You pick up the jack of diamonds.

[forgot to list the exit up]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

e
You move east.


Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.  

"Sophie!" Mother cries. "What are you doing with that dummy?"
   "What dummy?"
   "This one," she says, grabbing the dummy you're frantically trying to hide behind your back. "Honestly, child. You're eight. You don't need a dummy anymore." She pops the dummy in her pocket and that, it seems, is the end of the matter.

undo
Undone.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

[what?]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

i
You are carrying the jack of diamonds and your dummy.

l
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

s
You move south.
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

[sofaconducting]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

talk to father
"Ah, hello," says Father vaguely. He's generally like this when the tv's on. It's as if his mind can't focus on both the real world and the one displayed on the tv screen so it chooses to focus on the tv screen instead. Maybe that one's more interesting. "What you been up to today?"

   1: "Dad, it's my birthday! How about a little father/daughter bonding for crying out loud?"
   2: "I've been chilling. You?"
   3: "What are you watching?"
   4: "Where are my presents?"
   5: "Look, I've grown an inch since yesterday! Isn't that amazing!"
   6: "Can I have my pocket money?"
   7: "Anything you need seeing as you're currently sat on your fat butt and not likely to fetch it for yourself?"

5
"Really, dear? That is interesting," says Father with the general air of someone who clearly isn't listening to a word you you're saying.
   "Dad!" you protest.
   "Quite," replies Father.

   1: "What are you watching?"
   2: "Where are my presents?"
   3: "Can I have my pocket money?"
   4: "Anything you need seeing as you're currently sat on your fat butt and not likely to fetch it for yourself?"

1
"Not sure really," says Father with a frown. "I mean, I turned the tv on about, oh, eight hours ago and there was this programme on. Only then the programme ended and another one came on. Then that ended and now this one's on." He shudders. "Don't mind telling you, Soph, frightening stuff when you think about it."
   "Er, okay, dad," you say with a bemused shrug.

   1: "Why not turn it off?"
   2: "Where are my presents?"
   3: "Can I have my pocket money?"
   4: "Anything you need seeing as you're currently sat on your fat butt and not likely to fetch it for yourself?"

1
Father gives you a strange look. "Turn it... off?" He glances at the tv and shudders. "Now you're starting to worry me, girl. Go help your mother out or something." He goes back to watching his programme, muttering "...turn it off..." in a horrified voice from time to time.
   You have a feeling the conversation has well and truly died.

talk to father
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

turn off tv
You reach your hand out-
   You've never seen Father move so fast (not since the time he ran a mile in 8 seconds when he found out Mother was about to pour some of his beer down the drain) as he dives across the room with a terrified cry of "Nooooooooooooooo!" and slams his body into a protective shield around the 'off' button on the tv.
...press a key...

   "Sophie!" he gasps, face red with worry. "What..." He has to swallow before he can continue. "What in the name of God were you going to do?"
   "Turn it off," you say.
   Father gasps and clutches his chest. "Turn it..." He can't finish the word and instead mops a hand along his sweaty brow. "Never do that, Sophie. NEVER! Can you understand what might have happened if you'd turned it off? Can you imagine the horror that I would have gone through if I'd missed something that I might have wanted to watch? This tv never goes off, not while I'm alive. In fact, not even then."
...press a key...

   "What about when you're dead?"
   "Even then. It can be buried with me and my hand can be glued to the channel selector so that any involuntary spasms that pass through my corpse as the rot begins to set in can change the channel. Now..." He takes a deep breath and seems to calm down. "Now leave me be, Sophie. I don't think you should come in here until you learn to appreciate just what it was you nearly did."
   Sighing, you slink from the room.
...press a key...
  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

[that was kind of silly, you realize.]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

[but amusing in its way]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

l
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

s
You're banned from the dining room due to your unfortunate habit of trying to turn off the tv. Best give your Father a year or two to calm down before you head in there again.

score
Your score is currently 2.

drop dummy
You drop your dummy.

n
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

e
You move east.
Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.

x oven
Gleaming bright and sadistically modern, the oven is Mother's pride and joy. To you it's always been an object of fear and loathing due to its ability to turn perfectly edible food into the abominations you're forced to eat at mealtimes. Then again, Mother probably has more to do with that than the oven.  At the moment the oven is closed, its contents (mercifully) hidden from view.

undo
Undone.
You move east.
Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.

undo
Undone.
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

undo
Undone.
You drop your dummy.

undo
Undone.
Your score is currently 2.

undo
Undone.
You're banned from the dining room due to your unfortunate habit of trying to turn off the tv. Best give your Father a year or two to calm down before you head in there again.

undo
Undone.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

undo
Undone.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

undo
Undone.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

undo
Undone.
You reach your hand out-
   You've never seen Father move so fast (not since the time he ran a mile in 8 seconds when he found out Mother was about to pour some of his beer down the drain) as he dives across the room with a terrified cry of "Nooooooooooooooo!" and slams his body into a protective shield around the 'off' button on the tv.
...press a key...

   "Sophie!" he gasps, face red with worry. "What..." He has to swallow before he can continue. "What in the name of God were you going to do?"
   "Turn it off," you say.
   Father gasps and clutches his chest. "Turn it..." He can't finish the word and instead mops a hand along his sweaty brow. "Never do that, Sophie. NEVER! Can you understand what might have happened if you'd turned it off? Can you imagine the horror that I would have gone through if I'd missed something that I might have wanted to watch? This tv never goes off, not while I'm alive. In fact, not even then."
...press a key...

   "What about when you're dead?"
   "Even then. It can be buried with me and my hand can be glued to the channel selector so that any involuntary spasms that pass through my corpse as the rot begins to set in can change the channel. Now..." He takes a deep breath and seems to calm down. "Now leave me be, Sophie. I don't think you should come in here until you learn to appreciate just what it was you nearly did."
   Sighing, you slink from the room.
...press a key...
  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

undo
Undone.
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

talk to father
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

talk to father
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

talk to father
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

undo
Undone.
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

undo
Undone.
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

undo
Undone.
Undone.
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

undo
I can't undo any more of your blunderings!

x tv
That is the latest in state-of-the-art technology and if it was sold and the proceeds given to charity you imagine it would cure world hunger overnight.
   It's a truly hideous size, occupying about half the wall: has the capacity to be heard several miles away. Complaints from the neighbours have been vociferous (which sounds bad even though you've no idea what it actually means), but, due to the incredible volume of the tv, Father has yet to hear one of them.
   Currently it looks to be showing a Turkish soap with Taiwan subtitles in which a couple of farmers are being abducted by alien visitors from another dimension. It looks like riveting stuff.

search sofa
It's sagged quite a bit over the years due to the unfortunate fact that it has to support your father's weight throughout the whole day. As such, the middle has caved in and when you sit on it you're generally not more than an inch or two off the ground.

look in sofa
It's sagged quite a bit over the years due to the unfortunate fact that it has to support your father's weight throughout the whole day. As such, the middle has caved in and when you sit on it you're generally not more than an inch or two off the ground.

look under sofa
It's sagged quite a bit over the years due to the unfortunate fact that it has to support your father's weight throughout the whole day. As such, the middle has caved in and when you sit on it you're generally not more than an inch or two off the ground.

l
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

x table
It's difficult to say much about the dining room table, hidden as it is beneath an unbelievably large amount of empy beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The legs look a little creaky and you doubt much more weight will be needed to make it collapse.

x cans
"Now now, Soph," says Father, putting a hand on your shoulder and steering you away. "Nothing there that need interest you."

x boxes
"Now now, Soph," says Father, putting a hand on your shoulder and steering you away. "Nothing there that need interest you."

put card on table
You can't put anything onto the dining room table!

[hmm]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

stand on table
You can't stand on the dining room table.

push legs
You push the table legs, but nothing happens.

get legs
You can't take the table legs.

x legs
They're bending under the weight of everything on the table and you're faced with a yearning desire to wait around and hope they give way.

wait for legs to give way
"Don't just stand there wasting your life, Soph," says Father. "Go and play in the garden or something."

play in garden
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

talk to father
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

l
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

change channel
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

x tv
That is the latest in state-of-the-art technology and if it was sold and the proceeds given to charity you imagine it would cure world hunger overnight.
   It's a truly hideous size, occupying about half the wall: has the capacity to be heard several miles away. Complaints from the neighbours have been vociferous (which sounds bad even though you've no idea what it actually means), but, due to the incredible volume of the tv, Father has yet to hear one of them.
   Currently it looks to be showing a Turkish soap with Taiwan subtitles in which a couple of farmers are being abducted by alien visitors from another dimension. It looks like riveting stuff.

e
You move east.
Lounge

Originally the lounge was used as your playroom but once you hit the getting-on-a-bit-past-your-prime age of six, your parents decided to convert it to a lounge, the purpose of which - as far as you understand - is to lounge. As such there are several chairs in here and not much else. The only piece of ornamentation is a strange painting of an elderly wizard hung above the coalfire, supposedly to give you something to look at while you're lounging.
   Exits lie: west (to the dining room).

drop dummy
You drop your dummy.

undo
Undone.
You move east.
Lounge

Originally the lounge was used as your playroom but once you hit the getting-on-a-bit-past-your-prime age of six, your parents decided to convert it to a lounge, the purpose of which - as far as you understand - is to lounge. As such there are several chairs in here and not much else. The only piece of ornamentation is a strange painting of an elderly wizard hung above the coalfire, supposedly to give you something to look at while you're lounging.
   Exits lie: west (to the dining room).

x wizard
He looks vaguely like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings but with strange, piercing eyes that seem to follow you as you move about the room.

get it
(the painting)
Something about the wizard in the painting forbids you to take it.

touch it
(the painting)
You can't touch the painting.

x chairs
The chairs are all uniform in appearance and comfort value (i.e. they look bland and they're not very nice to sit on). One of Mother's ideas: not one of her better ones.

sit on chair
You rest on one of the chairs but have a sudden vision of yourself as an old woman, staggering along with one hand pressed into the small of your back and complaining to the world at large about the aches and pains you got from sitting on a really uncomfortable chair as a kid.
   After a few seconds lounging you get back up.

l
Lounge

Originally the lounge was used as your playroom but once you hit the getting-on-a-bit-past-your-prime age of six, your parents decided to convert it to a lounge, the purpose of which - as far as you understand - is to lounge. As such there are several chairs in here and not much else. The only piece of ornamentation is a strange painting of an elderly wizard hung above the coalfire, supposedly to give you something to look at while you're lounging.
   Exits lie: west (to the dining room).

lounge
You do a bit of lounging. It passes some time but nothing else changes.

[yay!]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

look behind wizard
He looks vaguely like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings but with strange, piercing eyes that seem to follow you as you move about the room.

w
You move west.
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

n
You move north.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

drop dummy
You drop your dummy.

e
You move east.
Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.

x oven
Gleaming bright and sadistically modern, the oven is Mother's pride and joy. To you it's always been an object of fear and loathing due to its ability to turn perfectly edible food into the abominations you're forced to eat at mealtimes. Then again, Mother probably has more to do with that than the oven.  At the moment the oven is closed, its contents (mercifully) hidden from view.

open oven
Grimacing at the thought of what you might see when the oven is opened, you reach out gingerly - and open it.  Lurking in the dark recesses of the oven is a pie.

x pie
To say your mother cooked this, it looks surprisingly edible. You wouldn't want to bet your life savings on it or anything but you'd be willing to stake a wedgie on the fact that you could eat it and have a better than average chance of surviving the experience.

get pie
As this is something Mother has cooked, it's either A) too heavy to be lifted by an eight year old girl, or B) liable to kill you if you ate it.
   As such you decide to leave it where it is.

talk to mother
"Oh, hello there, dear," says Mother absentmindedly as she puts a carrot out of its misery with a swipe from the knife she's carrying. "Up already? My, that's good for you. It's only two in the afternoon."

   1: "Aren't you going to sing me happy birthday, mom?"
   2: "What's for dinner?"
   3: "What time does my party start?"
   4: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

1
Mother thinks about it. "Not this year, dear. I remember singing it last year and that was quite enough excitement, don't you think? Why don't you run along and play with your presents?"

   1: "That's another thing I wanted to ask you about. Where the hell are my presents?"
   2: "Stop dodging the issue, mom! I wanna song!"
   3: "What's for dinner?"
   4: "What time does my party start?"
   5: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

1
The moment you say "hell", Mother turns with the knife in her hand and lunges at you and says, "Sophie, wash your mouth out! That kind of language is not used around this house!"
   "But when dad's been to the p-"
   "That's different. And you know why?"
   You remember something she drilled you into once. Actually, she didn't use a real drill but you kind of wished she had. It might have been less boring.
...press a key...

   "Because, er, because you say it is and if that's not fair, er, then tough cheese 'cos you, er, make all the rules and if, er, if other people have a problem with that you don't care."
   Mother nods. "Well done." She appears somewhat mollified. "Now, go and play in the garden or something until dinner's ready, there's a good girl."
   You seem to be already forgotten as she turns back to the chopping board and has another go at beating the life out of the poor carrots.
   Depressed: feeling like a good sulk, you wander into the hallway.

Your niceness has just decreased.
...press a key...
  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here is your dummy.

undo
Undone.
Mother thinks about it. "Not this year, dear. I remember singing it last year and that was quite enough excitement, don't you think? Why don't you run along and play with your presents?"

   1: "That's another thing I wanted to ask you about. Where the hell are my presents?"
   2: "Stop dodging the issue, mom! I wanna song!"
   3: "What's for dinner?"
   4: "What time does my party start?"
   5: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

3
Mother glances at the carrots she's busy massacring and shrugs. "No idea, dear. Now, why don't you run along and play in the garden and I'll shout you in when it's ready?"

   1: "'Play in the garden?' You make me sound some ickle kid! I'm eight, I tell you. EIGHT!"
   2: "What time does my party start?"
   3: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

3
Mother gives you a piercing look. "You're a strange child sometimes, Sophie," she says thoughtfully. "There are times when I even-" She hesitates then gives a forced smile. "No, that's silly. Now, why don't you run along and play with your toys for a while. Dinner will be ready soon."

   1: "Play with my toys? You make me sound some ickle kid! I'm eight, I tell you. EIGHT!"
   2: "What's for dinner?"
   3: "What were you going to say then?"

3
"Nothing, dear. Nothing at all. Oh, is that your father calling?"
   "I don't hear anything."
   "Oh, but I'm sure it is. Be a dear and go see what he wants, there's a good girl."
   Before you can do more than a give a disgusted "huh!" to express your annoyance, you're shooed out into the hallway.
...press a key...
  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here is your dummy.

s
You move south.
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

talk to father
"Not right now, dear," says Father, eyes fixed on the tv screen. "I'm a little, er, well, hmm..."
   "Busy?" you suggest.
   Father snaps his fingers. "That's it. Busy."
   He then goes on to ignore you as he 'busily' watches the tv.

n
You move north.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here is your dummy.

e
You move east.
Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.

talk to mother
"Yes, dear?" says Mother.

   1: "Aren't you going to sing me happy birthday, mom?"
   2: "What's for dinner?"
   3: "What time does my party start?"
   4: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

2
Mother glances at the carrots she's busy massacring and shrugs. "No idea, dear. Now, why don't you run along and play in the garden and I'll shout you in when it's ready?"

   1: "'Play in the garden?' You make me sound some ickle kid! I'm eight, I tell you. EIGHT!"
   2: "What time does my party start?"
   3: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

2
"Party?" Mother frowns, then gives an embarrassed laugh. "Oh, of couse, your party! Sorry, miles away. Later, dear. Later."

   1: "You sounded suspiciously vague there, mother."
   2: "What's for dinner?"

1
"No, no just thinking of something else. Now, why don't you run along and play with your toys in the garden for a while and when you're finished I'm sure your party will have started."

   1: "'Play in the garden?' You make me sound some ickle kid! I'm eight, I tell you. EIGHT!"
   2: "What's for dinner?"

1
Mother sighs. "Yes, dear. Whatever! Now, run along and, er, amuse yourself until it's time for dinner. And, Sophie?"
   "Yep?"
   Mother pauses in the act of raising the knife for another swipe at the carrots. "Losing your temper around me? Not a good idea." She lets the knife drop and it hits the chopping board with a heavy thud.
   You decide it's time to make yourself scarce and sneak into the hallway.  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here is your dummy.

undo
Undone.
"No, no just thinking of something else. Now, why don't you run along and play with your toys in the garden for a while and when you're finished I'm sure your party will have started."

   1: "'Play in the garden?' You make me sound some ickle kid! I'm eight, I tell you. EIGHT!"
   2: "What's for dinner?"

2
Mother glances at the carrots she's busy massacring and shrugs. "No idea, dear. Now, why don't you run along and play in the garden and I'll shout you in when it's ready?"

   1: "'Play in the garden?' You make me sound some ickle kid! I'm eight, I tell you. EIGHT!"
   2: "What time does my party start?"
   3: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

3
Mother gives you a piercing look. "You're a strange child sometimes, Sophie," she says thoughtfully. "There are times when I even-" She hesitates then gives a forced smile. "No, that's silly. Now, why don't you run along and play with your toys for a while. Dinner will be ready soon."

   1: "Play with my toys? You make me sound some ickle kid! I'm eight, I tell you. EIGHT!"
   2: "What's for dinner?"
   3: "What were you going to say then?"

3
"Nothing, dear. Nothing at all. Oh, is that your father calling?"
   "I don't hear anything."
   "Oh, but I'm sure it is. Be a dear and go see what he wants, there's a good girl."
   Before you can do more than a give a disgusted "huh!" to express your annoyance, you're shooed out into the hallway.
...press a key...
  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here is your dummy.

get dummy
You pick up your dummy.

s
You move south.
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

e
You move east.
Lounge

Originally the lounge was used as your playroom but once you hit the getting-on-a-bit-past-your-prime age of six, your parents decided to convert it to a lounge, the purpose of which - as far as you understand - is to lounge. As such there are several chairs in here and not much else. The only piece of ornamentation is a strange painting of an elderly wizard hung above the coalfire, supposedly to give you something to look at while you're lounging.
   Exits lie: west (to the dining room).

w
You move west.
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

n
You move north.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

w
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

[dude, where's the garden?]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

d
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

e
You move east.


Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.  

"Sophie!" Mother cries. "What are you doing with that dummy?"
   "What dummy?"
   "This one," she says, grabbing the dummy you're frantically trying to hide behind your back. "Honestly, child. You're eight. You don't need a dummy anymore." She pops the dummy in her pocket and that, it seems, is the end of the matter.

undo
Undone.
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

s
You move south.
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

d
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, east and northeast.

e
You move east.
Lounge

Originally the lounge was used as your playroom but once you hit the getting-on-a-bit-past-your-prime age of six, your parents decided to convert it to a lounge, the purpose of which - as far as you understand - is to lounge. As such there are several chairs in here and not much else. The only piece of ornamentation is a strange painting of an elderly wizard hung above the coalfire, supposedly to give you something to look at while you're lounging.
   Exits lie: west (to the dining room).

e
You can only move west.

x jack
You're sure the jack of diamonds in a proper deck of cards doesn't have a parrot on one shoulder though you have to admit the look is rather fetching. The card feels quite new although you can't remember the last time either of your parents bought a new pack.

w
You move west.
Dining Room
Peering through the ever present haze of cigarette smoke and beer fumes, you make out the dining room. Not much in the way of dining actually goes on here (probably just as well considering the potentially lethal cocktail floating around in the air) so Father tends to use it as his "tv watching room". Hence the widescreen tv that takes up most of one wall and the collection of videos that dominates the other. The dining table is now a storage area for an unbelievably large amount of empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes and sweet papers. The din from the widescreen tv isn't quite enough to shatter your ear drums but it comes close.
   Exits lie: north (to the downstairs hallway), northeast (to the kitchen) and east (to the lounge).  Your father is slouched on the sofaconducting a methodical search for the remote control which he seems to have misplaced.

show jack to father
Father doesn't seem interested in the jack of diamonds.

n
You move north.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

w
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

u
You move up.


Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).  

Blast and bother! You've dropped the Jack of Diamonds! It must have fell out of your hand while you were climbing the stairs!

nw
"Did you not hear me the first time, you brat?" yells Carla. "Jesus H. Christ, why do I have to put up with this every day! I mean, for crying out loud! I asked for a gerbil, Mother, a goddamn gerbil and instead you get me a sister! Well, if it won't fit in a cage and run round in a wheel then it's not worth having in my book!"
   You wonder if you might be better leaving her alone.

nw
"Is that you again, you obnoxious little snot?" your big sister yells from beyond the door. "Don't make me come to that door, you won't want me to come to that door, believe me you won't, because if I come to that door you'll wish you'd never been born because I'll do such horrible things to you that you'll wish you were dead and even when I've finished with you you'll wish you were even deader than dead because-"
   You manage to tune the rest of her rants out, something you've become accustomed to over the years.

nw
The door opens and Carla stands there - and then she smiles!
   (This is actually more frightening than if she'd come out of the room and grabbed you by the throat and tried to strangle the very life out of you - which is what you were expecting. She's never smiled at you before. Suddenly you feel very afraid.)
   Before you can make a run for it, Carla reaches out like a striking snake and grabs your arm. "Sophie," she says, "my dear little sister Sophie. And it's your birthday as well, isn't it? Your eighth birthday."
...press a key...

   She puts particular emphasis on the word 'eighth' and you wonder if the story she once told you about you being sold into slavery on your eighth birthday might be true after all.
   "Well, I've got a present for you." She reaches into her pocket and pulls out - not the knife you were expecting or even a pair of knuckledusters - but her credit card. Which she then proceeds to place in your hand! "There you are. Go to the shop - you know, the one you reach by going through the front door - and buy yourself something nice. Yes, nice. Something very nice. Aahahahahhahah!" She gives a laugh Cruella Deville would have killed for and slams the door in your face.
   Leaving you standing in the hallway with her credit card in your hand and a bemused expression on your face. Your sister being nice to you? Outright violence and possible mutilation you were expecting - but this?

x card
The Max Cheapo card your sister gave to you. It's old and battered and looks like someone has been using it to scrape paint off the walls. You're not sure how much use it will be but you might be able to get a pack of sweets or two at the local corner shop.

nw
"Run along and buy yourself something nice, my dear little sister!" calls Carla, sounding very un-sister-like. In fact, she sounds almost human.

sw
The door to your parents' room seems to be locked. Maybe they don't trust you or something.

unlock door with card
You haven't got any keys with you right now so you aren't going to be opening many locked doors.

l
Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).

n
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, northwest, west, southwest and down.

ne
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, west and down.

e
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, west and down.

l
Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).

n
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, northwest, west, southwest and down.

n
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, northwest, west, southwest and down.

e
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, west and down.

[er, huh?]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

n
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, northwest, west, southwest and down.

se
You can't go in that direction, but you can move north, west and down.

sw
The door to your parents' room seems to be locked. Maybe they don't trust you or something.

w
You move west.
Sophie's Room
This is your room, a merry hodge-podge of bright colours and "enthusiastic" vibes. Yep, your mother decorated it for you and if there's one thing mothers don't know it's how to decorate their daughters' rooms. Squinting through all this uncontrolled "joy" and "happiness", you catch sight of your bed - complete with a wonderfully vivid quilt - your desk, a window which looks out over some not very interesting fields and an overflowing bin. There used to be a television in here somewhere but it seems to have been overwhelmed by the rest of your "happy" decorations.
   Exits lie: east (to the upstairs hallway).

open window
The window hinges are painted shut, thus making the window impossible to open without a hammer. Apparently Mother thought this would be a good idea to keep her young daughter from falling out of it in the middle of the night. Maybe to her it was a good idea, but as you're the poor girl who has to spend her days in a room slightly warmer than the Sahara Desert on a really hot day, you just wish she'd settled for locking it instead.

kick it
(the window)
You kick the window, but nothing happens.

e
You move east.
Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).

d
You move down.


Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here are the jack of diamonds.  

Hmmm... that's funny. Where did the credit card go? You had it a minute ago. Did you drop it on the stairs?

u
You move up.
Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).  Also here is a credit card.

get card
You pick up the credit card.

x it
(the credit card)
The Max Cheapo card your sister gave to you. It's old and battered and looks like someone has been using it to scrape paint off the walls. You're not sure how much use it will be but you might be able to get a pack of sweets or two at the local corner shop.

i
You are carrying a credit card and your dummy.

x dummy
This battered piece of pink plastic sure brings back memories. Many were the long days you used to lounge around the house with this in your mouth, or sit on the back garden watching the world go by. Mother would probably have an almighty fit if she knew you still had it, but you find it a little hard to get rid of.

put card in dummy
You can't put anything inside your dummy!

d
You move down.


Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here are the jack of diamonds.  

Hmmm... that's funny. Where did the credit card go? You had it a minute ago. Did you drop it on the stairs?

get jack
You pick up the jack of diamonds.

u
You move up.


Upstairs Hallway
The upstairs hallway winds around the upper floor of your house and is one of those places you've been through several times every day of your life without ever really noticing. Not that there is a lot to notice anyway: wallpaper which looks like it was put in place by someone with a severe sight problem, carpet that's coming undone near the walls: a light fitting overhead that swings eerily from side to side in a way you imagine most haunted house designers would kill for. The sound of the tv - a constant that's always there in your house - drifts from below.
   Exits lie: west (to your room), northwest (to Carla's room), southwest (to your parents' room), north (to the bathroom) and down (to the downstairs hallway).  Also here is a credit card.  

Blast and bother! You've dropped the Jack of Diamonds! It must have fell out of your hand while you were climbing the stairs!

d
You move down.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here are the jack of diamonds.

x drawers
You're not quite sure why there's a chest of drawers in the hallway but put it down to one of Mother's strange ideas. Generally, whenever anything strange happens you put it down to Mother.
   The chest of drawers is pretty much empty of description and aside from a couple of drawers - marked upper and lower to avoid confusion - it's unremarkable in the extreme.

open lower
The lower drawer seems to be stuck and no matter of struggling with it seems to help.

help
Failing that, try asking someone!

ne
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

e
You move east.


Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.  

"Sophie!" Mother cries. "What are you doing with that dummy?"
   "What dummy?"
   "This one," she says, grabbing the dummy you're frantically trying to hide behind your back. "Honestly, child. You're eight. You don't need a dummy anymore." She pops the dummy in her pocket and that, it seems, is the end of the matter.

undo
Undone.
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east, south and up.

drop dummy
You drop your dummy.

e
You move east.
Kitchen
You've always found the kitchen to be both a frightening and exciting place. This is where your mother does her cooking - hence the burn marks in the walls and the faint smell of charred flesh - and there are few times when you come in here and she isn't cooking (for want of a better word) something. An oven, cooker, stove, microwave, fridge, sink and chopping board are all present here because mother just wouldn't be seen dead in a kitchen that wasn't completely up to date with all the mod cons.
   Exits lie: northeast (through the back door), west (to the downstairs hallway) and southwest (to the dining room).  By the chopping board is your mother, merrily hacking the life out of some poor carrots. You doubt they even saw it coming.

ask mother about drawer
"Yes, dear?" says Mother.

   1: "Aren't you going to sing me happy birthday, mom?"
   2: "What's for dinner?"
   3: "What time does my party start?"
   4: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

1
"You've asked me that already, dear. Don't you remember? Try something else."

   1: "Where the hell are my presents?"
   2: "Stop dodging the issue, mom! I wanna song!"
   3: "What's for dinner?"
   4: "What time does my party start?"
   5: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

2
"There's more to life than singing, dear," says Mother.
   At this precise moment there comes the sound of your sister, Carla, singing in her room and Father giving a loud, drunken rendition of God Save The Queen (the Sex Pistols' version) from the dining room.
   Mother blithely ignores them both.

   1: "That's no answer. I want my song!"
   2: "Where the hell are my presents?"
   3: "What's for dinner?"
   4: "What time does my party start?"
   5: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"

1
Mother fumes, "well, go put one of your CDs on then, my dear," and goes back to her chopping board.
   Depressed at this severe lack of attention from one of your parents - maybe you should write to your MP about it - you wander into the hallway to find a good place to sulk.
...press a key...
  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here are the jack of diamonds and your dummy.

nice
Currently your niceness stands at 5.

You're okay-ish.

undo
Undone.
Mother fumes, "well, go put one of your CDs on then, my dear," and goes back to her chopping board.
   Depressed at this severe lack of attention from one of your parents - maybe you should write to your MP about it - you wander into the hallway to find a good place to sulk.
...press a key...
  
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here are the jack of diamonds and your dummy.

undo
Undone.
"There's more to life than singing, dear," says Mother.
   At this precise moment there comes the sound of your sister, Carla, singing in her room and Father giving a loud, drunken rendition of God Save The Queen (the Sex Pistols' version) from the dining room.
   Mother blithely ignores them both.

   1: "That's no answer. I want my song!"
   2: "Where the hell are my presents?"
   3: "What's for dinner?"
   4: "What time does my party start?"
   5: "Anything I should know about, mother dearest?"


A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

d
You can't go in that direction, but you can move northeast, west and southwest.

w
You move west.
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).  Also here are the jack of diamonds and your dummy.

get all
You make to get all the items but a voice from nowhere suddenly blares out: "GET ALL? BUT THAT MAKES THINGS FAR TOO EASY! YOU MIGHT PICK UP AN ITEM BY TYPING 'GET ALL' THAT OTHERWISE YOU WOULD HAVE MISSED. SO NO 'GET ALL' IN THIS ADVENTURE, MY LITTLE FRIEND."

[good lord]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

get jack
You pick up the jack of diamonds.

get dummy
You pick up your dummy.

l
Downstairs Hallway
The downstairs hallway isn't really a hallway at all, just a wide corridor with the coatrack on one side and a gaudy mirror Mother bought from a jumble sale a few years ago. It's not as hideous as the chest of drawers it hangs over but it's a pretty close thing. The "hallway" ends a short distance ahead at a front door that could certainly do with a few licks of paint.
   Exits lie: east (to the kitchen) and south (to the dining room).

x door
Surprisingly enough the front door has escaped the ravages of your Mother and her passion for decorating. Ironic as it's the one thing in the house that really needs decorating. The paint is peeling off and the wood beneath is beginning to show. All in all, it's a mess.

[ok, I had to go to the friggin' *walkthrough* to find out there was a front door here.]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.
The front door is downstairs hallway.

open door
You open the front door and see the front garden, the path wending its way to the gate:, beyond it, Chatham Street with several people walking along, dogs yapping at their heels, some kids on pushbikes, an ice cream van at the corner-
   At least that's what you normally see only this time the front garden, path, gate, Chatham Street and everything else is gone.
   You blink your eyes and look again.
   Yep, it's definitely gone.
   Instead you're looking out into a totally black void which stretches as far as the eye can see. There's nothing else to see no matter how hard you strain your eyes.
   Aside, that is, from the fives dwarves perched on the doorstep.
   "We made it, lads!" announces one of them.
   "Yawn!" says another: stifles what he's just said.
   "GAAH!!! AH COULDA SMASHED THE LOT O' THEM WIV ME TRUSTY AXE!" roars another who looks to be a one man (one dwarf) army.
   "I don't see any beer around here," remarks a fourth.
   "At least we got away," adds the fifth, who looks short even by dwarvish standards.
   The first one, who you guess is the leader, steps into the hallway. The others soon follow and the short one slams the front door shut.
   "The name's Randle," says the lead dwarf. "And these are my companions."
   "Er-" you say.
   "If you're going to ask what is going on and where the hell has the rest of the world gone and what in God's name are five dwarves doing in my hallway then don't bother because I haven't got time to explain. Let's you and me have a little chinwag and I'll tell you what I can but we have to be quick."
   You cast a worried glance at the kitchen but you can't see any sign of your mother and, with the tv being on, nothing so trivial as the rest of the world disappearing and five dwarves appearing in your hallway is going to get much of a response from your father. And Carla wouldn't help you if it was a matter of life or death (which this might well be...)
   You turn back to the five dwarves who seem to be standing around, waiting for you to say something.

talk to dwarf
No-one listens to your rabblings.

talk to randle
"Are you the one who was propheic- proff- pro, er, the chosen one?" asks Randle with an intensity you haven't seen since the time Father hit his thumb with a hammer.

   1)  "Yes."
   2)  "No."
   3)  "I've no idea what you're talking about!"
   4)  "Do you mean 'prophecized'?"

4
Randle waves that away. "You can't worry about things like proni- prou- prn- er, something or other when you've got important stuff to deal with." He glances at the other dwarves. "This is the one, lads!"
   "Has she got any beer?" asks Grumble.
   "She looks a bit short to me," says Snitch, who is over a foot shorter than you.
   "Yawn!" says Arkle with a yawning gesture.
   "GAAAAAH!" roars Grolsch. "CAN SHE FIGHT? CAN SHE KILL? HAS SHE EVER RIPPED OPEN AN OGRE'S 'EAD WITH HER BARE HANDS? IF SHE CANNA FIGHT, SHE'S NAY WORTH 'AVING!"
   Randle turns back to you. "My... crew," he says. "Anyway." He reaches into his pockets and pulls out a device which looks suspiciously like a mobile phone. "I'll explain what we need you for later on, girlie, but for now we'd best get going before they show up. Hang on!"
   "To what?" you are about to ask, but then suddenly the front door flies open and beyond it stands - or, rather, floats - a tall, skeletal figure with a scythe. Several smaller figures - all skeletal, all carrying scythes - are arrayed behind it. None of them look very happy.
...press a key...
   "Ah, the errant dwarves," remarks the tallest of them. It runs a bony finger down its scythe which emits a shower of magical energy. "We have them at last." Its eyes (or eyesockets really) sweep over the dwarves - and come to you. "Ah: the prohi- phope- proffi-"
   "Prophecized!" you shout. "Can't anyone here spell?"
   The skeletal figure shrugs. "We have you anyway." It gestures to its fellows. "Bring me the girl. You can kill the rest!"
   "GAAAAH!!!" roars Grolsch. "A FIGHT! AH'LL HAMMER THE CRAP OUTTA THEM SO 'ELP ME GOD AH-"
   But Randle pressed a few buttons on his mobile phone-like device and a whirling vortex opens in the floor (you shudder to think what Mother is going to say when she sees that thing there).
   Randle cries, "run for it, lads! We can't fight them all!" and throws himself into the vortex. In a second he has disappeared from view.
   "Normally I'd say it was too much like hard work," says Arkle. He casts a worried glance at the skeletal figures who are moving into the hallway. "But I'll make an exception this time."
   He jumps into the vortex and is gone.
   "AH'M NOT RUNNIN'!" roars Grolsch. "NAY WAY! AH'LL FIGHT TER THE DEATH AN' AH'LL-"
   Snitch grabs him and pulls him into the vortex, leaving just you and Grumble behind.
   "I don't think any of those fellows have got any beer," says Grumble as the fist skeletal figure sets foot into the hallway. "C'mon, kid, best we were gone."
   And before you can protest (not that you were really planning to with those skeletons closing in), he grabs your arm and jumps into the 
vortex...
...press a key...

  
Cave
You find yourself in a cave that is quite grimy and dank. Lichen infests the walls and seems to move about almost as if it has a life of its own, reaching for you in an eerie manner as you explore the cave. Peering out from behind the patches of lichen are crude drawings which you suppose were left behind by the previous inhabitants of the cave. The sound of the sea breaking on the shore can be heard from outside.
   Exits lie: northeast (to the beach).  

"We're alive!" Randle cries, lifting his face up from the fine sand of the cave floor. "Woo-hoo!"
   "GAAAH! AH SAID THEY'D NEVER KILL ME!" roars Grolsch.
   "I'd jump for joy but I really can't be bothered," says Arkle.
   "They'll never get the short people," says Snitch.
   "I don't see any beer," says Grumble.
   "Where are we?" you yell.
   The fives dwarves look at you.
   "I think," says Randle, "that an explanation might well be called for..."
...press a key...
"We're on a mission," says Randle, "to thwart the forces of darkness and destruction and bring light to the world of man once more."
   "And dwarves!" adds Snitch.
   "And dwarves," says Randle with a weary look at Snitch. "Anyway, long, long time ago in a place far, far away-"
   "Isn't that from Star Wars?" Snitch asks.
   "No, that's completely different. Anyway-"
   "I'm sure it is from Star Wars," says Snitch. "Good film that. I liked the bit where Darth Vader killed Obi-Wan and then the Death Star exploded and it was-"
   "For the love of God, Snitch!" snaps Randle. "Can I please finish this without a thousand more interruptions?"
   Snitch grumbles to himself but says nothing else.
   "Finally," says Randle. "It was a long, long time ago in a place far, far away-"
...press a key...
And he goes on to tell you the story of how the forces of evil - led by the skeletal figures that tried to attack you not long ago, in particular a really evil skeleton lord called Brask - crafted a crystal of incredible power into which they poured the bulk of their power. This crystal was vaguely ring-shaped ("no, it's not a bloody parody of Lord of the Rings!" is Randle's response to a whispered question from Snitch) and gave Brask power beyond belief.
   But then there was an uprising and the crystal was taken from Brask while he slept ("no, I never knew skeletons slept, either, but that doesn't matter right now!" says Randle to another whispered question from Snitch) and it fell into the hands of the human resistance. The skeleton lord sought frantically to recover the crystal because it was needed to power his armies in his upcoming war: the resistance sought frantically to find a way to unlock the crystal's power - all in vain. It seemed that only a true sorceress had the necessary magical knowledge to unlock the crystal's power and there wasn't a single sorceress of any great power in all the land. So the resistance looked elsewhere.
...press a key...
   "They looked to you," says Randle.
   "M-m-me?" you gasp.
   Randle nods. "It seems your parents were both mages of great power before they decided to give up the magical trade and move to Earth to live out their domestic life in Croydon. And you, being their eldest child, will be the one to inherit their mantle of power."
   "But I'm not the their eldest child," you point out. "That would be my big sister, Carla."
   Randle frowns, mutters, "'scuse me" and has a hasty conference with the other dwarves. You are able to make out a few words every now and then - "Crap, we got the wrong one!" and "GAAAAHHH!!!" and "Ask her if she's got any beer" - but not enough to follow what they're saying.
   Then Randle turns back to you. "Well, pity we got the wrong one but you can't win 'em all I guess. And you'll still be able to use the crystal 'cos of being your parents' child and all that. Still, bit of a bummer we got the wrong one..." He sighs. "Can't be helped and we certainly haven't got the magic to go back for your sister, or to send you back for that matter. So you'll just have to do."
   "Gee, thanks," you say.
   "Ah, don't mention it," says Randle who, as a dwarf, is completely immune to cutting sarcasm. "Now, first things first: we have to get you to the tower of Arliss - he's one of the resistance leaders - and from there we should be able to convince them you're the right one to have the crystal. So, when you're ready-"
   Snitch nudges him. "The plan, Randle, the plan."
   Randle curses. "Crap! Forgot about that." He mutters to himself then says to you, "right, we decided earlier on that the whole thing is going to be really hideously dangerous and we might not all make it in one piece."
   "LERREM TRY!" roars Grolsch. "AH'LL 'AVE ME AXE TER FIRST SWINEHERD WOT TRIES TER KILL ME!"
   "So anyway," Randle goes on, "we need to split up. No good a group of six going trekking about the countryside getting into all manner of trouble and whatnot. It'd cause too much suspicion and we don't want the skeletons finding us again so soon 'cos we wouldn't be able to get away a second time as easily. So I think we should split into groups of two. As newest honourary member, you can get to pick first."
   What a choice, you think. Spirited away from my home world on my birthday to another world and told I'm going to have to use a crystal to kill an evil skeleton lord.
   You don't cry very often (despite what your mother says) but you're feeling pretty close right now.
   "Best make your decision sharpish, girlie," says Randle. "I don't know how long we'll have till the skeletons show up."
   Fighting back the urge to tell him to go and take his skeletons and his crystal and his resistance and shove it where the sun doesn't shine (a phrase you heard Carla saying to some nuns once which sounds really threatening even if you're not sure what it means), you try to make your decision:

   1:  "Randle, I'll come with you."
   2:  "Snitch, it's you and me, shorty."
   3:  "Grolsch, I need someone to protect me and it looks like being me."
   4:  "Arkle, stop being lazy. It's you and me."
   5:  "Grumble, I don't have any beer but you're coming with me all the same."

3
"GAAAAAHH!" roars Grolsch, swinging his battleaxe around his head. "AH, ME AN' THE LIL GIRL, WE'LL SMASH THE 'ELL OUT THE FIRST BUGGER WOT GETS IN OUR WAY! JUS' LET 'EM TRY AND BLADDY WELL STOP US!"
   "You're supposed to be keeping a low profile, Grolsch," says Randle cautiously.
   "BAH!" sneers Grolsch. "LOW PROFILES ARE FER WIMPS! AH'LL KILL 'EM AN' I'LL KILL 'EM DEADER 'N' DEAD 'FORE AH'M FINISHED WIV 'EM!" He glances at you. "CAN YE FIGHT DEN, LIL GIRL?"
   "I once got in a ponytail pulling contest in the playground with another girl," you say.
   Grolsch considers. "DID YE KILL THE OTHER SOD?"
   "Er, no."
   "MAIM HER?"
   "No."
   "GOUGE HER EYES OUT AND PUMMEL HER INTO THE BLADDY GROUND?"
   "No!"
   Grolsch sneers. "BAH! YE AIN'T A FIGHTER! YE AIN'T EVEN GOT A BLADDY WEAPON! WHAT USE ARE YER GONNA BE WHEN THE OGRES AN' THE TROLLS AN' THE DEMONS AN' THE RIGHT HORRIBLE GITS COME FER YER BLOOD?"
   "Er-"
   "WHAT USE-"
   "Grolsch," says Randle, "she doesn't need to be a good fighter. She's got you."
   Grolsch looks on the verge of sneering again but instead frowns.
   And considers what Randle has just said.
   And smiles. "AH, THAT SHE 'AS. AH'LL BE HER PROTECTOR AND SMASH THE FIRST BUGGER TER GIVE HER ANY LIP."
   "Er, that's not quite what I had in mi-"
   "YER GIVE ME DER WORD, LIL GIRL," Grolsch says to you, "AN' AH'LL PULL THE HEAD OFF FIRST SOD TER GET IN YER WAY, GIRLIE! GAAAH! BETWEEN US WE'LL MASSACRE OUR WAY RIGHT ACROSS THIS CRAPHOLE OF A LAND! GAAAH!"
   Randle just sighs.

The other dwarves depart a few minutes later - Randle sighing, Arkle complaining about having to walk, Snitch sulking that he wasn't picked, Grumble grumbling over the lack of beer in the cave - and then it's just you and Grolsch.
   "GAAAAAHHHH!" roars Grolsch.  

 undo
Undone.
Randle waves that away. "You can't worry about things like proni- prou- prn- er, something or other when you've got important stuff to deal with." He glances at the other dwarves. "This is the one, lads!"
   "Has she got any beer?" asks Grumble.
   "She looks a bit short to me," says Snitch, who is over a foot shorter than you.
   "Yawn!" says Arkle with a yawning gesture.
   "GAAAAAH!" roars Grolsch. "CAN SHE FIGHT? CAN SHE KILL? HAS SHE EVER RIPPED OPEN AN OGRE'S 'EAD WITH HER BARE HANDS? IF SHE CANNA FIGHT, SHE'S NAY WORTH 'AVING!"
   Randle turns back to you. "My... crew," he says. "Anyway." He reaches into his pockets and pulls out a device which looks suspiciously like a mobile phone. "I'll explain what we need you for later on, girlie, but for now we'd best get going before they show up. Hang on!"
   "To what?" you are about to ask, but then suddenly the front door flies open and beyond it stands - or, rather, floats - a tall, skeletal figure with a scythe. Several smaller figures - all skeletal, all carrying scythes - are arrayed behind it. None of them look very happy.
...press a key...
   "Ah, the errant dwarves," remarks the tallest of them. It runs a bony finger down its scythe which emits a shower of magical energy. "We have them at last." Its eyes (or eyesockets really) sweep over the dwarves - and come to you. "Ah: the prohi- phope- proffi-"
   "Prophecized!" you shout. "Can't anyone here spell?"
   The skeletal figure shrugs. "We have you anyway." It gestures to its fellows. "Bring me the girl. You can kill the rest!"
   "GAAAAH!!!" roars Grolsch. "A FIGHT! AH'LL HAMMER THE CRAP OUTTA THEM SO 'ELP ME GOD AH-"
   But Randle pressed a few buttons on his mobile phone-like device and a whirling vortex opens in the floor (you shudder to think what Mother is going to say when she sees that thing there).
   Randle cries, "run for it, lads! We can't fight them all!" and throws himself into the vortex. In a second he has disappeared from view.
   "Normally I'd say it was too much like hard work," says Arkle. He casts a worried glance at the skeletal figures who are moving into the hallway. "But I'll make an exception this time."
   He jumps into the vortex and is gone.
   "AH'M NOT RUNNIN'!" roars Grolsch. "NAY WAY! AH'LL FIGHT TER THE DEATH AN' AH'LL-"
   Snitch grabs him and pulls him into the vortex, leaving just you and Grumble behind.
   "I don't think any of those fellows have got any beer," says Grumble as the fist skeletal figure sets foot into the hallway. "C'mon, kid, best we were gone."
   And before you can protest (not that you were really planning to with those skeletons closing in), he grabs your arm and jumps into the 
vortex...
...press a key...

  
Cave
You find yourself in a cave that is quite grimy and dank. Lichen infests the walls and seems to move about almost as if it has a life of its own, reaching for you in an eerie manner as you explore the cave. Peering out from behind the patches of lichen are crude drawings which you suppose were left behind by the previous inhabitants of the cave. The sound of the sea breaking on the shore can be heard from outside.
   Exits lie: northeast (to the beach).  

"We're alive!" Randle cries, lifting his face up from the fine sand of the cave floor. "Woo-hoo!"
   "GAAAH! AH SAID THEY'D NEVER KILL ME!" roars Grolsch.
   "I'd jump for joy but I really can't be bothered," says Arkle.
   "They'll never get the short people," says Snitch.
   "I don't see any beer," says Grumble.
   "Where are we?" you yell.
   The fives dwarves look at you.
   "I think," says Randle, "that an explanation might well be called for..."
...press a key...
"We're on a mission," says Randle, "to thwart the forces of darkness and destruction and bring light to the world of man once more."
   "And dwarves!" adds Snitch.
   "And dwarves," says Randle with a weary look at Snitch. "Anyway, long, long time ago in a place far, far away-"
   "Isn't that from Star Wars?" Snitch asks.
   "No, that's completely different. Anyway-"
   "I'm sure it is from Star Wars," says Snitch. "Good film that. I liked the bit where Darth Vader killed Obi-Wan and then the Death Star exploded and it was-"
   "For the love of God, Snitch!" snaps Randle. "Can I please finish this without a thousand more interruptions?"
   Snitch grumbles to himself but says nothing else.
   "Finally," says Randle. "It was a long, long time ago in a place far, far away-"
...press a key...
And he goes on to tell you the story of how the forces of evil - led by the skeletal figures that tried to attack you not long ago, in particular a really evil skeleton lord called Brask - crafted a crystal of incredible power into which they poured the bulk of their power. This crystal was vaguely ring-shaped ("no, it's not a bloody parody of Lord of the Rings!" is Randle's response to a whispered question from Snitch) and gave Brask power beyond belief.
   But then there was an uprising and the crystal was taken from Brask while he slept ("no, I never knew skeletons slept, either, but that doesn't matter right now!" says Randle to another whispered question from Snitch) and it fell into the hands of the human resistance. The skeleton lord sought frantically to recover the crystal because it was needed to power his armies in his upcoming war: the resistance sought frantically to find a way to unlock the crystal's power - all in vain. It seemed that only a true sorceress had the necessary magical knowledge to unlock the crystal's power and there wasn't a single sorceress of any great power in all the land. So the resistance looked elsewhere.
...press a key...
   "They looked to you," says Randle.
   "M-m-me?" you gasp.
   Randle nods. "It seems your parents were both mages of great power before they decided to give up the magical trade and move to Earth to live out their domestic life in Croydon. And you, being their eldest child, will be the one to inherit their mantle of power."
   "But I'm not the their eldest child," you point out. "That would be my big sister, Carla."
   Randle frowns, mutters, "'scuse me" and has a hasty conference with the other dwarves. You are able to make out a few words every now and then - "Crap, we got the wrong one!" and "GAAAAHHH!!!" and "Ask her if she's got any beer" - but not enough to follow what they're saying.
   Then Randle turns back to you. "Well, pity we got the wrong one but you can't win 'em all I guess. And you'll still be able to use the crystal 'cos of being your parents' child and all that. Still, bit of a bummer we got the wrong one..." He sighs. "Can't be helped and we certainly haven't got the magic to go back for your sister, or to send you back for that matter. So you'll just have to do."
   "Gee, thanks," you say.
   "Ah, don't mention it," says Randle who, as a dwarf, is completely immune to cutting sarcasm. "Now, first things first: we have to get you to the tower of Arliss - he's one of the resistance leaders - and from there we should be able to convince them you're the right one to have the crystal. So, when you're ready-"
   Snitch nudges him. "The plan, Randle, the plan."
   Randle curses. "Crap! Forgot about that." He mutters to himself then says to you, "right, we decided earlier on that the whole thing is going to be really hideously dangerous and we might not all make it in one piece."
   "LERREM TRY!" roars Grolsch. "AH'LL 'AVE ME AXE TER FIRST SWINEHERD WOT TRIES TER KILL ME!"
   "So anyway," Randle goes on, "we need to split up. No good a group of six going trekking about the countryside getting into all manner of trouble and whatnot. It'd cause too much suspicion and we don't want the skeletons finding us again so soon 'cos we wouldn't be able to get away a second time as easily. So I think we should split into groups of two. As newest honourary member, you can get to pick first."
   What a choice, you think. Spirited away from my home world on my birthday to another world and told I'm going to have to use a crystal to kill an evil skeleton lord.
   You don't cry very often (despite what your mother says) but you're feeling pretty close right now.
   "Best make your decision sharpish, girlie," says Randle. "I don't know how long we'll have till the skeletons show up."
   Fighting back the urge to tell him to go and take his skeletons and his crystal and his resistance and shove it where the sun doesn't shine (a phrase you heard Carla saying to some nuns once which sounds really threatening even if you're not sure what it means), you try to make your decision:

   1:  "Randle, I'll come with you."
   2:  "Snitch, it's you and me, shorty."
   3:  "Grolsch, I need someone to protect me and it looks like being me."
   4:  "Arkle, stop being lazy. It's you and me."
   5:  "Grumble, I don't have any beer but you're coming with me all the same."

1
"I knew you'd make the best decision when push came to shove," says Randle.
   "But she picked you, Randle," says Snitch.
   Randle looks about to say something but instead just sighs.
   "Right you lot," he says to the other dwarves. "Make your way to Arliss' tower as best you can and we'll meet you there. And, Grolsch?"
   "GAAAAAHH?" roars Grolsch.
   "Try to keep a low profile, okay?"
   Grolsch takes an experimental chop at the nearest cave wall with his battleaxe and nods. "AH'LL KEEP A LOW PROFILE, BOSS, AN' AH'LL SMASH THA BLADDY KNEECAPS OFF ANY SWINEHERD WOT TRIES TO STOP ME!"
   Randle sighs. "Okay, okay, fine."
   He starts to say something else but the other dwarves have already started to depart - Grolsch taking a swipe at an offending shadow on the way, Grumble moaning about coming to land in a cave and not a pub, Arkle complaining that all this exercise isn't any good for him: Snitch just moaning as only Snitch can.
   Randle turns back to you. "Well, we'd better get going ourselves, girlie. We set a good pace, we should reach Arliss' tower before nightfall."  

l
Cave
You find yourself in a cave that is quite grimy and dank. Lichen infests the walls and seems to move about almost as if it has a life of its own, reaching for you in an eerie manner as you explore the cave. Peering out from behind the patches of lichen are crude drawings which you suppose were left behind by the previous inhabitants of the cave. The sound of the sea breaking on the shore can be heard from outside.
   Exits lie: northeast (to the beach).  Randle is here.

talk to randle
"Yes," says Randle. "Let us talk. We have much to discuss."

   1: "Such as?"
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   4: "Tell me about yourself."
   5: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   6: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Well..." He frowns, trying to think of something to discuss. "Ah, I know! Let's discuss what combat training you had before I met you."

   1: "I belted someone with a skipping rope once - does that count?"
   2: "Er... none."
   3: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   4: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   5: "Tell me about yourself."
   6: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   7: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Did you?" Randle considers this then smiles. "Ah, you've got the heart of a warrior. That's a good sign and one that I'm sure will serve the land well in the coming struggle."

   1: "You think there's a big demand for people good with a skipping rope then?"
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   4: "Tell me about yourself."
   5: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   6: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Could well be now that you mention it. I doubt the evil skeleton lord and his troops have ever fought anyone armed with a skipping rope before. Might give us a healthy advantage."
   You decide not to say any more.

   1: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   2: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   3: "Tell me about yourself."
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Death, destruction, mayhem, slaughter, famine, war: so on," says Randle. "Doesn't look good I'll give you that."

   1: "There's no chance of coming to a peaceful agreement with him?"
   2: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   3: "Tell me about yourself."
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"With Brask?" Randle snorts. "Yep, I can really see him being reasonable with us after that time we chopped his head off."

   1: "Chopped his head off?"
   2: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   3: "Tell me about yourself."
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Yep, in the last war against him some fifty years ago. A great big elf with a sword as long as your body whacked Brask's head clean off his shoulders. My old dad tells me it was a  great sight to behold." Randle beams. "Of course, Brask just picked his head up, stuck it back on his body: then killed the elf. But it was great while it lasted."

   1: "Is he - gulp! - not to easy to kill then?"
   2: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   3: "Tell me about yourself."
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"He's been stabbed and shot and burnt and bathed in acid and blasted with magic and so on and so forth," says Randle. "And every time he just recovers. No one really knows why but he's sure not an easy one to get rid of."

   1: "So how do I kill him?"
   2: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   3: "Tell me about yourself."
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
Randle shrugs. "I guess we - or rather you - will have to cross that bridge when we - or rather you - come to it."

   1: "You mean you aren't coming with me to fight him?"
   2: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   3: "Tell me about yourself."
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Well, we know that normal weapons don't work very well on Brask so there wouldn't be a lot of point. I'd only get in the way."
   You decide not to say anything to that, mainly because your mother always taught you not to swear at people.

   1: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   2: "Tell me about yourself."
   3: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   4: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"We'll be perfectly safe so long as we don't run into any evil skeletons."

   1: "And if we do run into some evil skeletons?"
   2: "Tell me about yourself."
   3: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   4: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Then, well..." Randle shrugs. "I guess we put Plan B into effect."
   "What's Plan B?"
   "We run like hell."

   1: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   2: "Tell me about yourself."
   3: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   4: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"Death, destruction, mayhem, slaughter, famine, war: so on," says Randle. "Doesn't look good I'll give you that."

   1: "There's no chance of coming to a peaceful agreement with him?"
   2: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   3: "Tell me about yourself."
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

3
"I'm the oldest son of Grim and Gram, a fine pair fo dwarven thieves," says Randle.
   "Thieves?"
   "Oh, don't worry. They only robbed off non-dwarves so by dwarven standards that makes them heroes. Anyway, I was born, I grew up, I met Arliss the mage: then I got sent to fetch you from the other world. And here we are. That's everything there is to tell for the moment."

   1: "Tell me about Arliss?"
   2: "How did you get to my world from this one - and how'd you get back?"
   3: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

['fo' should be 'of']
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

[Oh, and the 'more'/'press any key' bits were completely off.  I was always scrolling up and down with the scrollbar.]
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.
A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.
With what?

1
"He's the boss," says Randle. "Well, not strictly the boss. But he gives orders and we obey so he's a kind of boss-like figure. He's a great guy, too, for a non-dwarf, though don't tell him I said that 'cos it'll swell his head up to a hideous size."

   1: "How did you get to my world from this one - and how'd you get back?"
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   4: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"I was given a magical recall stone by Arliss once he cast the spell that sent me and my gang there. Unfortunately the recall stone only works once so if the evil skeletons find us again we'll just have to run for it."

   1: "Tell me about Arliss."
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Is it a good idea wandering around here without an armed guard?"
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

4
"I didn't bring any with aside from a magic dagger Arliss gave me and I need that myself. Don't worry. Once you get hold of your magical powers, you won't need a weapon any more."

   1: "Tell me about Arliss."
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Is it a good idea wandering around here without an armed guard?"
   4: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

4
Randle frowns. "Is he the son of Mavis and Snorbert Potter? Little tyke with a big mouth who lives in Grindle and works at the pottery?"
   "No."
   "Never heard of him then."

   1: "Tell me about Arliss."
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Is it a good idea wandering around here without an armed guard?"

1
"He's the boss," says Randle. "Well, not strictly the boss. But he gives orders and we obey so he's a kind of boss-like figure. He's a great guy, too, for a non-dwarf, though don't tell him I said that 'cos it'll swell his head up to a hideous size."

   1: "How did you get to my world from this one - and how'd you get back?"
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   4: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

1
"I was given a magical recall stone by Arliss once he cast the spell that sent me and my gang there. Unfortunately the recall stone only works once so if the evil skeletons find us again we'll just have to run for it."

   1: "Tell me about Arliss."
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Is it a good idea wandering around here without an armed guard?"
   4: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   5: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

l
Cave
You find yourself in a cave that is quite grimy and dank. Lichen infests the walls and seems to move about almost as if it has a life of its own, reaching for you in an eerie manner as you explore the cave. Peering out from behind the patches of lichen are crude drawings which you suppose were left behind by the previous inhabitants of the cave. The sound of the sea breaking on the shore can be heard from outside.
   Exits lie: northeast (to the beach).  Randle is here.

x lichen
It clings to the walls and glows faintly, giving off enough light to make out the interior of the cave.

get it
(some lichen)
You pull a piece off the wall but it quickly crumbles away to dust in your hand.

x drawings
Some of them look like the things you used to draw when you were four years old: stick figures, smiling faces and the occasional bomb (you had a vivid imagination). None of it makes any sense to you and if it has a purpose you're not sure what that purpose might be.

ask randle about drawings
"Yes," says Randle. "Let us talk. We have much to discuss."

   1: "Such as?"
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   4: "Tell me about yourself."
   5: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   6: "Do you like Harry Potter?"

nw
You can only move northeast.

ne
You move northeast.
Beach
The beach stretches away quite some distance to the east where it is blocked by a large stone figure which looks to have taken a tumble. Crabs and seaweed are about all the beach has to offer by way of entertainment value and part of you will be secretly glad to see the back of this depressing place. The sea borders the beach to one side and to the other is a large cliff. Just off to your left is the cave you emerged from at the start of your adventure.
   Exits lie: southwest (to the cave) and east (along the beach).  Randle looking cunning as only he can creeps along from the south-west.

x crabs
They're fierce little beasties that raise their claws as you approach and you imagine that trying to catch one would be a very bad idea.

catch crabs
You reach out to get yourself a crab - and the vicious thing bites you on the thumb!
   As you hop about in pain and say several words that, were your mother here, would get you grounded for the rest of your natural life, the crab scurries away. Lying in the sand where it was resting is, of all things, a pearl.
   Still nursing your sore thumb, you pick up the pearl.

x pearl
The pearl you swiped from the crab looks strangely translucent and it also seems to glow with an inner light. Quite why this is you've no idea, but something tells you this pearl is worth quite a fair sum of money.

l
Beach
The beach stretches away quite some distance to the east where it is blocked by a large stone figure which looks to have taken a tumble. Crabs and seaweed are about all the beach has to offer by way of entertainment value and part of you will be secretly glad to see the back of this depressing place. The sea borders the beach to one side and to the other is a large cliff. Just off to your left is the cave you emerged from at the start of your adventure.
   Exits lie: southwest (to the cave) and east (along the beach).  Randle is here.

x seaweed
There's straggly bits of it all along the beach which you guess has been washed ashore by the tide. It looks vaguely like a wig your sister once wore but you're sure that's just a coincidence.

get seaweed
You pick some up but it's sticky and icky and horrible to touch so after a while you put it back down.

l
Beach
The beach stretches away quite some distance to the east where it is blocked by a large stone figure which looks to have taken a tumble. Crabs and seaweed are about all the beach has to offer by way of entertainment value and part of you will be secretly glad to see the back of this depressing place. The sea borders the beach to one side and to the other is a large cliff. Just off to your left is the cave you emerged from at the start of your adventure.
   Exits lie: southwest (to the cave) and east (along the beach).  Randle is here.

x cliff
It borders the beach to one side and looks pretty steep.  Further along the beach there is a path leading up the cliff.

u
You can't go in that direction, but you can move east and southwest.

e
You move east.


Beach
The central part of the beach is no more exhilarating than the western part and if not for the half-buried scarecrow by the sea's edge there'd be nothing here to comment on at all. The beach extends a little further to the east where the stone statue is looking a little more prominent. A path leading up the cliffs to the north is a short distance away.
   Exits lie: west (to the beach), east (to some more beach) and northwest (to the path).  

You catch sight of someone standing on top of the cliff to the north and a moment later a rock comes flying down and misses your head by an inch!
   "Take cover!" cries Randle: throws himself at you, knocking you flying!
   "Aagahaaah!" you cry as you get a mouthful of sand.
   You try to get up but Randle throws himself at you again and keeps you down - and your head in the sand!
   "Keep down till it's safe!" cries your 'protector'. "I only see one of them but there could be a couple hundred hidden on those cliffs, with God alone knows what manner of powerful and arcane weaponry at their disposal."
   "He... threw... a stone... at... us..." you gasp, struggling for air.
   "A stone today, a nuke tomorrow. Who knows where it might end?"
   "I... can't... breathe..."
   Randle relents, though this probably has something to do with you making strange I'm-about-to-die gaspings.
   "He's gone, I think," says Randle. He lets you up and wanders over to the rock that was thrown at you. "Hmm. As I suspected. A primitive weapon but, in the right hands, a dangerous one. Our enemies are close and they are merciless."
   "You don't think it was just some kid throwing rocks at a couple of strangers?" you suggest.
   Randle considers this then shrugs. "Nah."

get rock
Take what?

x rock
The rock isn't important right now. Besides which, it seems to have been buried in the sand by its impact.

search sand
It's pretty nondescript but then it's sand so the nondescript side of things probably goes without saying.

dig in sand
You sift through the soft sand with your hands but don't make much progress. You really need to find yourself a spade if you're going to do any digging here.

l
Beach
The central part of the beach is no more exhilarating than the western part and if not for the half-buried scarecrow by the sea's edge there'd be nothing here to comment on at all. The beach extends a little further to the east where the stone statue is looking a little more prominent. A path leading up the cliffs to the north is a short distance away.
   Exits lie: west (to the beach), east (to some more beach) and northwest (to the path).  Randle is here.

x scarecrow
Why someone has put a scarecrow on a beach with the tide coming in you can't imagine. It doesn't look like a scarecrow in very good condition though so maybe it's here to be dumped.

get it
(the half-buried scarecrow)
You can't take the half-buried scarecrow.

talk to it
(the half-buried scarecrow)
No-one listens to your rabblings.

search it
(the half-buried scarecrow)
Why someone has put a scarecrow on a beach with the tide coming in you can't imagine. It doesn't look like a scarecrow in very good condition though so maybe it's here to be dumped.

kick it
(the half-buried scarecrow)
You kick the half-buried scarecrow, but nothing happens.

l
Beach
The central part of the beach is no more exhilarating than the western part and if not for the half-buried scarecrow by the sea's edge there'd be nothing here to comment on at all. The beach extends a little further to the east where the stone statue is looking a little more prominent. A path leading up the cliffs to the north is a short distance away.
   Exits lie: west (to the beach), east (to some more beach) and northwest (to the path).  Randle is here.

x statue
It's quite a size although part of it is submerged in the sand. Why someone would choose to build a statue at one end of a beach is a bit of a mystery to you but then adults often do strange things that you've never understood.

e
You move east.
Beach
Standing in the shadow of the fallen statue is where you find yourself. You're not sure why the statue is here or why it has a stone torch in one hand but you're sure there's a very good explanation for it. The statue's eyes - each larger than your whole body - seem to look at you as if expecting you to do something. But what…?
   Exits lie: west (to the rest of the beach).  Randle looking cunning as only he can creeps along from the west.

x torch
You can vaguely make out the words "...tue of ..bert." written down one side of the stone torch. Could this be a statue to some guy called Bert?

talk to randle
"Yes," says Randle. "Let us talk. We have much to discuss."

   1: "Such as?"
   2: "What happens if I fail to stop the evil skeleton lord?"
   3: "Do you think it was a good idea for us to wander around here without an armed guard?"
   4: "Tell me about yourself."
   5: "Have you got any weapons you could let me have?"
   6: "Do you like Harry Potter?"


A moment later and you're scratching your head in confusion. You've no idea how to do that.

l
Beach
Standing in the shadow of the fallen statue is where you find yourself. You're not sure why the statue is here or why it has a stone torch in one hand but you're sure there's a very good explanation for it. The statue's eyes - each larger than your whole body - seem to look at you as if expecting you to do something. But what…?
   Exits lie: west (to the rest of the beach).  Randle is here.

x eyes
They're not eyes as such, just gaping holes in the statue's head. You can see nothing beyond them.

put perl in eye
I don't understand what you want to put things inside.

put pearl in eye
I don't understand what you want to put things inside.

i
You are carrying the jack of diamonds, your dummy and a pearl.

put pearl in statue
I don't understand what you want to put things inside.

put pearl
I don't understand what you want me to do with the pearl.

l
Beach
Standing in the shadow of the fallen statue is where you find yourself. You're not sure why the statue is here or why it has a stone torch in one hand but you're sure there's a very good explanation for it. The statue's eyes - each larger than your whole body - seem to look at you as if expecting you to do something. But what…?
   Exits lie: west (to the rest of the beach).  Randle is here.

e
You can only move west.

w
You move west.
Beach
The central part of the beach is no more exhilarating than the western part and if not for the half-buried scarecrow by the sea's edge there'd be nothing here to comment on at all. The beach extends a little further to the east where the stone statue is looking a little more prominent. A path leading up the cliffs to the north is a short distance away.
   Exits lie: west (to the beach), east (to some more beach) and northwest (to the path).  Randle looking cunning as only he can creeps along from the east.

nw
You move northwest.
Muddy Path
The muddy path winds in several directions but as the majority of these are blocked by bushes you don't pay much attention to them. The only ways open to you are the way you originally came - down to the beach - and another one off to the northeast which looks a little more used than the path you're standing on now.
   Exits lie: northeast (to the muddier path) and southeast (to the central part of the beach).  Randle looking cunning as only he can creeps along from the south-east.

save
Saving current game... done.
Game saved.

x bushes
The bushes around here are making a valiant effort to stand against the mud but, alas, aren't doing that well.

x mud
Try as you might you don't see anything very interesting.

ne
You move northeast.
Muddier Path
There's not really much path here at all and it's all you can do to stop yourself sinking into a depth that would be quite frightening. The landscape hereabouts is pretty desolate, leading you to believe that not even the occasional tree or bush would want to here around here. A little further ahead there looks to be some sort of crossroads.
   Exits lie: north (to the extremely muddy path) and southwest (to the muddy path).  Randle looking cunning as only he can creeps along from the south-west.

n
You move north.
Extremely Muddy Path
The mud here has reached a depth so extreme that it's almost like you're swimming through the stuff. If there's solid ground beneath you it's well hidden and not given to announcing itself. Several paths seem to fork off from here although as everything you see is through a mud-caked haze it's difficult to tell much about them.
   Exits lie: east (to a copse of trees), west (to some hills), south (to a muddy path) and north (to a not quite so muddy path)  Randle looking cunning as only he can creeps along from the south.

e
You move east.
Copse Of Trees
Tall trees rise around you, reaching majestically into the sky like, well... like tall trees actually. As you're only eight years old you're not an authority on the types of trees you're surrounded by but they sure look nice. In the centre of the copse is a wagon with several nuns sitting in the back and a larger (for larger read fierce) nun standing outside carrying a staff.
   Exits lie: west (to the crossroads) and in (to the wagon).  Randle looking cunning as only he can creeps along from the west.

talk to nun
No-one listens to your rabblings.

talk to nuns
Sister Carina glares at you in a most unfriendly fashion and you get the feeling that talking to the nuns wouldn't be a good idea.

x carina
Some women grow up as they get o